God made the shower with a drain pipe that didn't just dump water all over the VW Passat in the garage. And it was good.
Of course, one problem solved in the world of construction usually means another problem created. In an effort to get at the pipe without ripping out the shower tile, they chipped out a rather large hole in the garage ceiling. I have been hiding from my building manager all week.
In any case, the past ten days of non-blogging have been difficult. It's been a week of rough realism. I met with my adviser and we were both so very unidealistic about the job market situation. I've now looked over the list and I think I'll send out cover letters to around 10 Research 1 schools. I feel totally unprepared for this process--really, comparative literature produces mutts who can't compete at the big dawg shows.
The writing has also been very weighed down. I've produced a decent proposal and abstract but it's such pedestrian writing. I say pedestrian, the adviser says clear.
Netflixed
Henry Fool
Monsieur Ibrahim (et les fleurs du Coran)
I loved this movie. The ending is beyond the cheese and back, but mostly, the portrayal of the abandoned boy's life and how he develops the relationship with the old Omar Sharif hits just the right mix of sympathy and humor. And I was inspired to buy the Bobby Hebb song "Sunny," which I very much recommend.
Hardboiled
Restau 99
The Hungry Cat
After going to Hungry Cat,we saw one of the last performances of Culture Clash's run of Zorro in Hell at the Ricardo Montalban theater. It was a really fun show. The timing is perfectly paced and as agit-prop, it always seems in conversation with topical political issues, but without feeling like a stilted turn away from the show's own trajectory. However, I have to agree with Nikki's assessment that the way homosexuality functions as the site of fear is pretty problematic: sodomy as the punishment for not yet understanding the central importance of Zorro and how to inhabit his resistant legacy.
Dominick's
My dad loved this place. It's a good Italian place, we had manicotti and tender-tender hanger steak. The terrace area is beautifully pleasant.
Caioti Pizza Cafe
4346 Tujunga Ave, Studio City, CA 91604.818.761.3588
Finally! Yummy pizza we can both agree upon.
And a fantastic goat cheese and beet salad.
Mimosa
8009 Beverly Blvd. LA, CA 90048. 323.655.8895
Frances and I went over on Tuesday night. We had a lovely evening together: my choices off the menu were my favorites: I had a pistou soup and a chicken au jus with a fabulous succotash that I think would work with most anything: corn, olives, red bell peppers, rapini. But bring a sweater--the air con in there is out of control.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
itchy
Yesterday, my writing partners and I were noting this moment where you want to get through your work so badly that you start itching. And not in the clichéd idiomatic sense of "itching to do something." No, where your skin starts spazzing out as a corporeal reflection of your emotive drive.
Tuesday, I scratched the itch all afternoon.
Behold the site of hallucinatorily confident writing:
This is the new computer that I inherited from my mother--a pristine handmedown early birthday present that is so thrilling to me.
Here, the statement of purpose has been well-revised, as has the first chunk of c3: both ready for advisor's perusal.
Now, I just have to scratch away again and again.
The Lists
This was the list 2 weeks ago. I did do it all and then revised it all--it just took me two weeks instead of the wished-for 1.
TO DO WORK:
Thurs: Analyze dvd for c4 and write Ricoeur section. Half done.
Fri: Ricoeur section. Half-assedly done.
Sat: Analyze dvd for c4 and do my own theory section. Rewrite Marx section. Rewrite future and performance section. Overambitious much? Answer: yes. I sat and stewed for most of the day, then went to yoga, and came home and fiddled around with argument writing.
Sun: Revise c3 first section.
Mon: Write first Cham close reading for c3.
And here's the current list:
Wed: Convo w/advisor3. Evening with babe.
Thurs: Write proposal.
Fri: Plan writing samples(10page and 30page). Meeting w/advisor1.
Sat: Write teaching philosophy.
Sun: Revise proposal.
Mon: Pull together writing samples.
Tuesday, I scratched the itch all afternoon.
Behold the site of hallucinatorily confident writing:
This is the new computer that I inherited from my mother--a pristine handmedown early birthday present that is so thrilling to me.
Here, the statement of purpose has been well-revised, as has the first chunk of c3: both ready for advisor's perusal.
Now, I just have to scratch away again and again.
The Lists
This was the list 2 weeks ago. I did do it all and then revised it all--it just took me two weeks instead of the wished-for 1.
TO DO WORK:
Thurs: Analyze dvd for c4 and write Ricoeur section. Half done.
Fri: Ricoeur section. Half-assedly done.
Sat: Analyze dvd for c4 and do my own theory section. Rewrite Marx section. Rewrite future and performance section. Overambitious much? Answer: yes. I sat and stewed for most of the day, then went to yoga, and came home and fiddled around with argument writing.
Sun: Revise c3 first section.
Mon: Write first Cham close reading for c3.
And here's the current list:
Wed: Convo w/advisor3. Evening with babe.
Thurs: Write proposal.
Fri: Plan writing samples(10page and 30page). Meeting w/advisor1.
Sat: Write teaching philosophy.
Sun: Revise proposal.
Mon: Pull together writing samples.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
scared
It's a pretty sad state of affairs when you have to listen to the soundtrack to the sisterhood of the traveling pants for inspiration.
feel the rain on your skin
Maybe I should take a shower to get that feeling. Have a fresh start in the midst of this day that is getting, has gotten away from me.
staring at the blank page before you
I haven't been staring much actually. I brainstormed decently, but allowed the mundane difficulties of daily life send me into a little rage. Since then, I have been laying on beddinge watching the hills on my computer and wondering at how easy it is to enter into a meta-cycle of boredom: I stare at people who have nothing to say to one another. They are stilted and so clearly have no chemistry together as friends that it's somewhat surprising. It's like watching a dropped cell phone call.
let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find
Alright. I'm going to rewrite my statement of research. That I can do.
feel the rain on your skin
Maybe I should take a shower to get that feeling. Have a fresh start in the midst of this day that is getting, has gotten away from me.
staring at the blank page before you
I haven't been staring much actually. I brainstormed decently, but allowed the mundane difficulties of daily life send me into a little rage. Since then, I have been laying on beddinge watching the hills on my computer and wondering at how easy it is to enter into a meta-cycle of boredom: I stare at people who have nothing to say to one another. They are stilted and so clearly have no chemistry together as friends that it's somewhat surprising. It's like watching a dropped cell phone call.
let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find
Alright. I'm going to rewrite my statement of research. That I can do.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
dmv
I spent the morning at the dmv waiting to change over the title of my dying car. And I spent the entirety of my purgatory in the waiting room eavesdropping on the mother-daughter dyad next to me: the mother was classically "long-suffering," the girl, youngish, but too old to be acting the way she was. Over the course of their discussion, her mother would lower her voice, embarrassed, and the closer she would get to whispering, the louder the girl would talk. I consider that whining is something primarily communicated in pitch variations, but she managed to be incredibly petulant and incredibly monotone simultaneously. There were no pauses or rhythmical changes--both also staples in my expression of complaint. Her whine characteristics were a high nasal quality and every syllable sounded spit out. Most of her gripes were some variation on the theme of:
"I don't have time for this I'm running five websites"
or
"my eyes won't hold the makeup" (it's true, in my open gawking, I could tell that there was no trace of makeup on her eyes)
and
"what do I need an ID for I'm going to be dead in a few years anyway so what I need an ID so they can ID my dead body and write my name on my grave"
The DMV seems a pretty appropriate place for nihilism, but impending death seems a kind of crazed rationale to avoid spending time there. But it wasn't a joke--the mother's mouth dropping slightly open made that clear, whereas the deep lines marking her forehead might indicate that such comments weren't infrequent. Moreover, it struck me as a really hard-core awful thing to say to probably the only person in the world who values your life more than her own.
I have to admit though, I do remember yelling at my mother that I would laugh at her grave when she was dead. It was one of those arguments where you lash out and try to hurt as hard as you can. But I was fourteen. Oh, and my mom just shrugged.
The Lists
TO DO WORK:
Mon: Analyze dvd for c4 and write Agamben section: DONE!
Tues: Write politics intro for c3 and clarify the first section. So not at all done. Read Prospecti and comment. DONE!
Wed: Day off. But actually, I put together a booklet for this do-it-yourself prospectus workshop I'm running...does it count as work if I was watching the us open at the same time?
Thurs: Analyze dvd for c4 and write Ricoeur section. Half done.
Fri: Analyze dvd for c4 and do my own theory section.
Sat: Write first Cham close reading for c3.
Somewhere in there: Write a first draft of research statement. DONE--first draft to guilan on tues.
Netflixed
Blissfully Yours
Well, I'm feeling somewhat like a critical Goldilocks: I mock Shortbus for being overly explicit with its symbolism and then I spurn this film for being overly obscure. This film comes from the Thai director who created Tropical Malady and shares the same technique of occasionally overlaying drawings on the screen. Only this time, they didn't translate the Thai writing that accompanies the doodles, so I was pretty lost. I know there was something about immigrancy as connected with disease, and suspicion of authority. Other than than, lost-ness. It reminded me a little bit of Brown Bunny, what with the long long long seemingly real-time long driving scenes that were beautiful but made me want to watch it sped up by 16x.
"I don't have time for this I'm running five websites"
or
"my eyes won't hold the makeup" (it's true, in my open gawking, I could tell that there was no trace of makeup on her eyes)
and
"what do I need an ID for I'm going to be dead in a few years anyway so what I need an ID so they can ID my dead body and write my name on my grave"
The DMV seems a pretty appropriate place for nihilism, but impending death seems a kind of crazed rationale to avoid spending time there. But it wasn't a joke--the mother's mouth dropping slightly open made that clear, whereas the deep lines marking her forehead might indicate that such comments weren't infrequent. Moreover, it struck me as a really hard-core awful thing to say to probably the only person in the world who values your life more than her own.
I have to admit though, I do remember yelling at my mother that I would laugh at her grave when she was dead. It was one of those arguments where you lash out and try to hurt as hard as you can. But I was fourteen. Oh, and my mom just shrugged.
The Lists
TO DO WORK:
Mon: Analyze dvd for c4 and write Agamben section: DONE!
Tues: Write politics intro for c3 and clarify the first section. So not at all done. Read Prospecti and comment. DONE!
Wed: Day off. But actually, I put together a booklet for this do-it-yourself prospectus workshop I'm running...does it count as work if I was watching the us open at the same time?
Thurs: Analyze dvd for c4 and write Ricoeur section. Half done.
Fri: Analyze dvd for c4 and do my own theory section.
Sat: Write first Cham close reading for c3.
Somewhere in there: Write a first draft of research statement. DONE--first draft to guilan on tues.
Netflixed
Blissfully Yours
Well, I'm feeling somewhat like a critical Goldilocks: I mock Shortbus for being overly explicit with its symbolism and then I spurn this film for being overly obscure. This film comes from the Thai director who created Tropical Malady and shares the same technique of occasionally overlaying drawings on the screen. Only this time, they didn't translate the Thai writing that accompanies the doodles, so I was pretty lost. I know there was something about immigrancy as connected with disease, and suspicion of authority. Other than than, lost-ness. It reminded me a little bit of Brown Bunny, what with the long long long seemingly real-time long driving scenes that were beautiful but made me want to watch it sped up by 16x.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
happy divorce yourself from capitalist debt slavery day!
Saturday night, after spending some time reading at Café Om, instead of coming home and almost certainly passing out, I decided to extend my working time by changing locales and getting something to eat. I've lately been hearing very good things about Fatburger--a southland fastfood burger chain I have mocked every time that most unfortunate name intruded upon my consciousness. Since it is sort of on the way home from Om, I decided to stop in and try it. And I loved it! I can't believe I've been eating craptastic In-N-Out with their sorry little flat gray patties once every few months when I could have been having a plump tasty Baby Fat (only as big as my fist and fully fulfilling) instead! Anyway, after nibbling down the Baby, I spent the next two hours at Fatburger fending off the sounds of Christina Aguilera and reading Casarino's work around Marx and Agamben and Negri. And I loved it too! I very much appreciated his reminder of how very prescient Marx and Deleuze were of our present socio-economic system. Take a gander:
"In a world ruled by [the time = money equation], we are always kept waiting because money is always already waiting for itself. It is a short leap form here to arguing--as Marx does argue--that such a process of circulation leads to a society ruled by debt and to a definition of the human as always already indebted (Grundrisse, 366-367). These pages are not far from that remarkable essay in which Deleuze uses Foucault as a springboard to dive into and articulate the passage from modern disciplinary society to a postmodern control society in which 'a man is no longer a man confined but a man in debt.' (Gilles Deleuze (Trans. Martin Joughin). "Postscript on Control Societies," in Negotiations (NY: Columbia UP, 1995): 179)."
-Cesare Casarino, "Time Matters: Marx, Negri, Agamben, and the Corporeal," Strategies 16.2(2003): 198.
People: Wake up and smell the credit cards!
I was all fired up about this, to the extent that when I talked to Michael on my walk home from Fatburger, I suggested excitedly that we give up all of our possessions to take up residence in a van, live simply and off the land (or dumpsters, given that we are urban mice), and shower at the beach.
Michael's supportive response: "I don't really think you've thought this through very well."
My convincing rejoinder: "I haven't! But Marx has! And that's good enough for me."
One night: two conversions.
The Lists
TO DO WORK:
Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon: Analyze dvd for c4 and reconfigure c4.
Somewhere in there: Write a first draft of research statement.
Done: Backwards outline of c4. Read Casarino. Ran into some difficulties reading Agamben, sort of worked through them--although I'm sure I'll have to expand and de-crypticize. Slowly writing through draft 1 section 1, c4.
TO DO LIFE: Pay down debt (currently $680.41). Procure dog. Buy suit. Read Therí's paper. Go to dmv for title and registration. Figure out car insurance. Return boxes to the container store. Assemble bathroom furniture. Sell file cabinet. Track down fridge. Figure out how to take care of bamboo floors. Return shower caddy to Bed Bath and Beyond.
DONE! did the dishes and tidied up the house. $700 later, my car has passed its smog test. attempted to assemble the shower caddy and found it had several broken pieces. Bed Bath and Beyond: any more such episodes and my love affair with you will fade quickly.
TO DO BLITZ: sarah, marilyn, giulia, irmary, mariana, dar, nv, sf, marzena, thérèse, toño, jerven, magdalena, staceymo.
TO DO CALL: hen, lauryn.
Lauryn called! Jerven called! Yay for other people making efforts to communicate!
Netflixed
Shortbus
This is a relatively explicit movie about sex. At its most profound, it reveals how psychological barriers and problems manifest themselves in sexual relationships. At its least profound...it's just laughable. The descriptions people give of experiencing orgasms: "everything was light and there was this incredible energy and there there was no more war." Is he sending this up? Partially, but there is no other definition or representation that the movie offers up in its stead. My most laugh-tastic moment is the trope of symbolizing one woman's quest to achieve an orgasm (and she's a sex therapist! how very ironical!) with having all the lights kind of buzz and threaten to go out when she's close and then a total blackout when does have the big o. It's like Carrie, only the unleashing of natural disaster is the result of pleasure rather than pain.
Restau 99
Marouch
Armenian Lebanese. 4905 Santa Monica (cross-street Edgemont). LA. 323.662.9325. lunch and dinner tues-sun. $
What a yummy dinner! What a mistake it was to order an appetizer of stuffed grape leaves! Instead of regular bread to tide you over until your main arrives, they bring you warm pita and a plate of cold pickled items: radishes, olives, hot peppers, mint and green onion. I had lamb shwarma with a yogurty-garlic sauce. The rice and grilled tomatoes and onions help make the dish. Michael had a similar set-up, only with chicken kabobs instead of lamb and pureed garlic unadulterated by yogurt. I have to say, his chicken was perfectly tender and moist, whereas a few pieces of my lamb were a little dry. The flavor though, gamey with a little sweetness of the herbs. Lovely place.
I do wonder when I'll stop tasting reruns of garlic though.
"In a world ruled by [the time = money equation], we are always kept waiting because money is always already waiting for itself. It is a short leap form here to arguing--as Marx does argue--that such a process of circulation leads to a society ruled by debt and to a definition of the human as always already indebted (Grundrisse, 366-367). These pages are not far from that remarkable essay in which Deleuze uses Foucault as a springboard to dive into and articulate the passage from modern disciplinary society to a postmodern control society in which 'a man is no longer a man confined but a man in debt.' (Gilles Deleuze (Trans. Martin Joughin). "Postscript on Control Societies," in Negotiations (NY: Columbia UP, 1995): 179)."
-Cesare Casarino, "Time Matters: Marx, Negri, Agamben, and the Corporeal," Strategies 16.2(2003): 198.
People: Wake up and smell the credit cards!
I was all fired up about this, to the extent that when I talked to Michael on my walk home from Fatburger, I suggested excitedly that we give up all of our possessions to take up residence in a van, live simply and off the land (or dumpsters, given that we are urban mice), and shower at the beach.
Michael's supportive response: "I don't really think you've thought this through very well."
My convincing rejoinder: "I haven't! But Marx has! And that's good enough for me."
One night: two conversions.
The Lists
TO DO WORK:
Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon: Analyze dvd for c4 and reconfigure c4.
Somewhere in there: Write a first draft of research statement.
Done: Backwards outline of c4. Read Casarino. Ran into some difficulties reading Agamben, sort of worked through them--although I'm sure I'll have to expand and de-crypticize. Slowly writing through draft 1 section 1, c4.
TO DO LIFE: Pay down debt (currently $680.41). Procure dog. Buy suit. Read Therí's paper. Go to dmv for title and registration. Figure out car insurance. Return boxes to the container store. Assemble bathroom furniture. Sell file cabinet. Track down fridge. Figure out how to take care of bamboo floors. Return shower caddy to Bed Bath and Beyond.
DONE! did the dishes and tidied up the house. $700 later, my car has passed its smog test. attempted to assemble the shower caddy and found it had several broken pieces. Bed Bath and Beyond: any more such episodes and my love affair with you will fade quickly.
TO DO BLITZ: sarah, marilyn, giulia, irmary, mariana, dar, nv, sf, marzena, thérèse, toño, jerven, magdalena, staceymo.
TO DO CALL: hen, lauryn.
Lauryn called! Jerven called! Yay for other people making efforts to communicate!
Netflixed
Shortbus
This is a relatively explicit movie about sex. At its most profound, it reveals how psychological barriers and problems manifest themselves in sexual relationships. At its least profound...it's just laughable. The descriptions people give of experiencing orgasms: "everything was light and there was this incredible energy and there there was no more war." Is he sending this up? Partially, but there is no other definition or representation that the movie offers up in its stead. My most laugh-tastic moment is the trope of symbolizing one woman's quest to achieve an orgasm (and she's a sex therapist! how very ironical!) with having all the lights kind of buzz and threaten to go out when she's close and then a total blackout when does have the big o. It's like Carrie, only the unleashing of natural disaster is the result of pleasure rather than pain.
Restau 99
Marouch
Armenian Lebanese. 4905 Santa Monica (cross-street Edgemont). LA. 323.662.9325. lunch and dinner tues-sun. $
What a yummy dinner! What a mistake it was to order an appetizer of stuffed grape leaves! Instead of regular bread to tide you over until your main arrives, they bring you warm pita and a plate of cold pickled items: radishes, olives, hot peppers, mint and green onion. I had lamb shwarma with a yogurty-garlic sauce. The rice and grilled tomatoes and onions help make the dish. Michael had a similar set-up, only with chicken kabobs instead of lamb and pureed garlic unadulterated by yogurt. I have to say, his chicken was perfectly tender and moist, whereas a few pieces of my lamb were a little dry. The flavor though, gamey with a little sweetness of the herbs. Lovely place.
I do wonder when I'll stop tasting reruns of garlic though.
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